Day 27- Birthday wishes can come true! (If you let them)
I have had the most pivotal point in my 40 day lifestyle change. And it hit me so hard that I was blown away almost to the point of tears.
Let’s Tarantino and back up a bit.
I woke up and went to work thankfully accepting all the birthday wishes everyone was giving me. I then thought about my grandma… It’s been less than a year since she died and I was looking forward to a corny card in the mail with an old fashioned signature and twenty bucks inside. That’s when so many emotions flared up inside me, my brain and body just stopped to think about her with my grandpa… I felt so sad. I realized that each day that passes, the next event in your life growing up is the scariest day you’ve faced. You think you have it under control and then the next event in your life completely blows you away.
Ben folds once said,
“…Everything for the rest of this life is gonna be another thing where it’s like, ‘I’m tough enough, I’ve taken this’ and then the next thing coming up is going to take you completely by surprise; it’s gonna be the scariest thing you’ve ever done. Everyone has had the scariest thing they have ever done right on the horizon coming up.”
I continued into the night to celebrate my birthday at Chili’s. The entire time I was contemplating if I should break lent for a day to celebrate my birthday. Now I’ll try to break this down as easily as possible. If you get lost, just keep reading and you’ll catch on:
The whole entire point of doing this 40 day trial is not to stay in shape or lose a couple pounds (though it is a nice plus!) The reason I do this every year is to see if I still have control over my body and it’s cravings for useless items that my mind believes it needs. So with that said, I had an internal struggle between me and myself. I though if I eat the cake, then I have failed to tell myself what I can and can’t control. On the other side of the spectrum, if I don’t eat it, I’m not celebrating my birthday. After all, you only turn 21 once.
The fact is that I had this pressure on myself and I started to get frustrated. But then it hit me: I need to prove to myself that eating this will not start a chain reaction of binging on junk food. So I took two bites and enjoyed that molten lava chocolate cake but, I had no further appetite to eat the entire thing. I sat back and relaxed in my seat cause I knew then that I have overcome my obsession for sugar. I had no craving whatsoever to wash it down with a coke or beg for more. I was truly happy with myself.
Overall, it’s been a great birthday and a pivotal point in my life. This is an experience that I won’t soon forget.