Alright. So I feel like I can talk about this now that it’s mostly behind me, but I still have trouble even typing this. But, I feel that it could help others in my situation that I was in. I received my first paycheck last week, but I wasn’t able to spend a dime of it on anything. Why? Because of all the months where I didn’t work. I had to pay off all the overdrafts and late bills. If you couldn’t tell yet, this is about how poor I was.

What can I say? I’m being honest with myself. I’m a little bit egotistical when it comes to financial situations. To confirm that I am/was, I would rather make an appearance to a party and buy drinks for everyone and spend money going to lunch with friends rather than use that money to get home with the 6 ounces of gas I had left in my scooter. And as tough as it was to live, I still was irresponsible, and spent my money very unwisely. Let’s go back a few steps though.

I worked at a company in Springville that was quite fantastic morally. I came and went as I pleased, my workload was moderate, but eventually, I became bored. Burned out. Tired of dealing with a company that was going in too many directions and a boss that was never clear with where he was going. It left me frustrated and tired. I was eventually put down as “A contractor”. An easy way of getting me out of not having unemployment.

So I suffered. I was just done with working, and trying to make it in “the real world”. Even though I had Candice (My girlfriend) to keeps hopes up and that… REALLY well paying job, I still lost all motivation to be successful. But my aspect on life and the “working mans world” changed when I was on my scooter. I was broken down on the side of the road and on the edge of tears. I was so distraught about being broke that I realized, “Damnit, I gotta do something that makes me motivated to love what I do.”

I love doing graphic design. It makes me feel quite awesome. The fact that I have a job trait doing something that is 1st nature to me and allows others to see and adore my work, makes me feel blessed. So I started to redesign my website and look for jobs. I came across some companies offering ridiculously high paying jobs in the graphic design field in Utah, and I thought at first, “No… There’s no way I can get a job like that.” But then I immediately changed my aspect on my own self image. I figured, “Alright. I have a kick ass website, a strong portfolio, and an OK background on programming. Why not?” I then realized that I, Sean Blake, am awesome. I went in for an interview with the confidence I haven’t had in years. I got a call back after a “design test” and they hired me. I got off the phone after the good news and just cried with joy.

I finally realized what made me function in this life of “the working man” Pure, innocent, and awesome motivation to do something I love. And I’m going to do everything I can to keep that motivation alive as long as I can. And with a cool company that I’m working with right now? I don’t see that motivation fading away anytime soon. I would love to talk about it more, but I don’t wanna make this blog post longer than it already is. What I can say is that I’ve finally realized my place in this world of careers. Find yours. It will always be the fuel to your happy and successful life.

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